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Tuesday, July 15, 2008


So, it has been forever... or at least several months in the world wide blogger world. I don't know, writing about myself just seems to take a lot of energy. Life has been rough lately, emotions running rapid and deep. Being pregnant this time around is stripping me bare. I pray constantly and try to visualize all the lovely, peaceful things I so desperately want to be able to envision, but truth of the matter is that it is just plain hard and peace is in short supply for us right now. We are going to the temple tonight, in search of some light. I am scared and discouraged and there are too many words to explain why in this crazy internet world. But... I love my husband and my little boy. They make me smile. River is an astounding little spirit, and I feel so blessed that God gave him to us. He helps us through every day... puts light into our eyes. He asks me about 15 times a day if I am 'pappy' and constantly attacks me with loads of kisses and near-life strangling hugs. He makes me laugh when I didn't think I had it in me. So this post is dedicated to the River, the boy who never stops showing those dimples.


Kimberly Porter said...

Pregnancy after a stillbirth is so hard. This is my 3rd pregnancy (we lost our Matthew, Joshy is 2 1/2). May I suggest a Priesthood Blessing? When my dear husband gave me one, I have held onto those words with dear life. It has truly sustained me through this (and the last) pregnancy. Combined with the scriptures, I know that the Lord will stay true to His promises. I have 9 weeks left until our next boy arrives. I pray for the safe arrival of your next baby.

P.S. If you don't remember my last post, me and my husband Ryan were good friends with Kenny during the "single ward" years. So, I'm really not a stranger. :)
Our blog is if you'd like to check us out.

Sweetpea said...

River is so sweet and adorable. I'm glad you have him in your life. I'll call you soon. We are thinking about you, always.

kanabanana said...

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Take it a day at a time. You are so strong, and I admire you. We will keep you in our prayers.

charlywally said...

i didn't even know you were pregnant again. congratulations!

Devon said...

River is so cute! Don't you just love how sweet and innocent little children are? They really do have a way of making you smile and see the good in this world. Congrats on the pregnancy - when are you due?